Official Complaint!

To: The Worldwide Tooth Fairy Organization (WTFO)  
    Personnel Department  
    123 Fairy Lane Tooth Fairy Land
 
To Whom it may concern:  

We would like to file an official complaint with your organization about the Tooth Fairy assigned to the Mitchell Family. Yes, THAT Mitchell Family--the one with all those boys and oh so many teeth! Now, we understand that we would be a difficult family to be assigned to, but with that said...the fairy assigned to us is just not cutting it! We have been patient, hoping that things would get better, but the situation seems to be deteriorating.  

We have been loyal customers. Consistently losing teeth since 2001 (give or take). We thought perhaps that when we moved nearly 7 years ago that the sub-par Tooth Fairy we had wouldn't move with us! But clearly she (or he--in fact we are highly suspicious that it IS a "he") was not reassigned! The tell-tale signs are there: taking several days to finally remove a tooth from beneath a pillow (sometimes ignoring the tooth altogether!), occasionally sneaking into our room while we are eating breakfast (did you think that would cut it--I mean we wouldn't have found the money at all if Mom or Dad didn't "suggest" that we check just ONE more time!), and the biggest complaint of all (although Mom and Dad are fine with this one)--leaving ONE measly dollar! Some of our friends' Tooth Fairies are far more generous!  

Now, we don't expect you to take ALL the blame! As we stated before, we understand that we would be a difficult family to be assigned to. As our parents have suggested, we might be making things a little bit hard for you. What with our rooms being so messy that a small fairy could EASILY get lost in there for days, staying up too late goofing around (until our Tooth Fairy probably just passes out from exhaustion waiting for his/her moment), and of course misplacing our teeth before we even have a chance to stick them under our pillow (we had HOPED that your organization would be a little more understanding--we're just KIDS for crying out loud!).
 
What we are asking from you is some compassion and (let's face it!)--pity! We are stuck in this house with parents with NO imagination! Do you realize that we have ZERO Halloween decorations up! And don't even get us STARTED on the Easter Bunny assigned to our house!! We could definitely use a break! It would be great if you could assign us a NEW fairy! Perhaps one that has previously been assigned to an only child. One who is not worn down from years of thankless service. One who has a later bedtime than 9:30!
 
One last thing. As you may have heard, we have recently added a baby sister to our family. Now it might be too late for us, but maybe we can get this sorted out before she starts to lose HER teeth. She is our Little Princess Angel, and we really want HER to have a good Tooth Fairy!  

Thank you for your time in this important matter.
Sincerely,  
The Mitchell Boys